


Lily Remembering

by Katherine



Category: The Giver - Lois Lowry
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-15
Updated: 2012-12-15
Packaged: 2017-11-20 15:38:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katherine/pseuds/Katherine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The morning Gabriel was to be released, Lily came to the table and saw only her mother there. "Your father went to his work early," Mother said.</p>
<p>"I don't get to wave bye to him. Or to Gabe," she said. "Or Jonas! What if they leave early tomorrow morning, and the next morning, and the next—"</p>
<p>Lily wanted to say that she felt angry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lily Remembering

**Author's Note:**

  * For [puella_nerdii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/puella_nerdii/gifts).



The morning Gabriel was to be released, Lily came to the table and saw only her mother there. "Your father went to his work early," Mother said.

"I don't get to wave bye to him. Or to Gabe," she said. "Or Jonas! What if they leave early tomorrow morning, and the next morning, and the next—"

Lily wanted to say that she felt angry that the morning rituals weren't being done by all of them. But mornings were for sharing of dreams, not sharing feelings.

"You knew it was the newchild's final night," her mother said. "Your father told us yesterday. Now, did you dream?"

Lily told her dream, but she wanted Father and Jonas there to listen and take their turns.

 

"Jonas had to stay for extra training again," Lily guessed, when he wasn't home with them in the evening.

He didn't arrive home for dinner or even for the sharing of feelings. At least Father was home for those.

"Your turn now, Lily," he said, after he and then Lily's mother had shared their feelings.

"I felt angry that this morning was different," Lily said. "I feel sad that I didn't wave to you and Gabe. Since Gabe was released today."

Father touched her hair ribbons as he reminded Lily that their family knew that was scheduled, and had tried their best with the newchild. 

Mother nodded agreement, then told Lily, "Time for bed."

"Going to bed feels strange," Lily said quietly. "When someone has been here each night and isn't here any more."

"We've finished talking about feelings for tonight, Lily," Father said, his tone warning her gently.

Neither of her parents had told her why Jonas was not home.

 

The next morning was again without Gabriel or Jonas. But Father at least was not leaving early this time, so Lily could go outside ready to wave goodbye.

Soon, she thought excitedly, she would be a Nine and have her own bicycle, with a shiny nameplate. With that thought watched Father wheel his bicycle from its port. Father's bicycle had a shiny nameplate. Not just that. His whole bicycle was new. Another different thing, to go with yesterday's leaving early and Jonas not being home.

Lily ventured a question about the bicycle.

"I would have had to find the Department of Bicycle Repair," Father said lightly. "Easier to go to Requisitions and get a new one."

Requisitions, after all, was big and important enough to stay in the same place, Lily knew.

"Maybe they'll repair your old bicycle, so it's all shiny, and then when they give the Nines their bicycles—" Lily knew hers would be smaller, but she liked the strange idea of getting to use something that had belonged to someone else in the family unit before being hers.

How strange it would be, though, if bicycles were shared from parent or older sibling. Or, Lily thought, coming up with another idea, if comfort objects were!

Imagine if the newchildren at the Ceremony had their comfort objects with them. Then someone could recognise their own comfort object, made new and someone else's. She could see a newchild with her elephant.

Since Gabe had been released, would Gabe's hippo be given to one of this year's newchildren?

 

A few nights later, Lily had the first of the strange dreams. There was a difference about it she did not have a name for.

"I dreamed my comfort object was bigger than me," she said in the morning telling of dreams, but unusually for her, wanted to tell her dream shortly, not at length.

She didn't describe the sense of towering, the way that without touching she knew the huge elephant didn't have her comfort object's reassuring softness, but something as much its own as her skin was hers.

Mother said she herself hadn't dreamed, not even fragments.

"In my dream," Lily's Father said, "I was cold."

"You might have not been under the blanket," Mother said.

"Maybe you kicked it off," Lily put in. "Like Ga—like newchildren do."

She wanted to remember Gabriel, but talking about him even to her parents felt uncomfortable. Gabriel he was not at home with them any more. He was not even in the Nurturing Center any more. Since he had been released, he must be Elsewhere and would belong to another family.

She'd had her turn last night to share her feelings, and had not spoken of that. She should tomorrow. Feelings were supposed to be shared.

 

Lily had not yet done volunteer hours in the Nurturing Center. That had seemed less interesting than other places, when they had Gabriel, a newchild of almost their extra own, at home every night.

This day she was doing her volunteer hours at the House of the Old. Jonas's friend Fiona was there, working smoothly and quietly.

Lily felt clumsy and like she didn't know enough. But of course she was only an Eight. 

 

"I felt busy today," Father said, taking the last turn, the third to share that night since Jonas was still not at home. "I have the other newchildren to spend lots of time caring for. All of them need to be ready to be received by their families."

Lily thought that because training had kept Jonas away for nearly two weeks he was being prepared for some special role at the Ceremony. She wanted Jonas watching her while she at last became a Nine and got her bicycle. He was supposed to already be secretly teaching her how to ride. He was supposed to still be at home.

She knew how rude it was to ask questions someone might not want to answer. But this one was important. "Will Jonas be home before the ceremony?"

"I know you wonder that," Mother said, "But a person is told things when she needs to know."

 

Two days later, during their time to share dreams, Lily asked "Do people dream about things they don't remember?"

Her mother laughed. "Everyone who is old enough tells their dreams every morning. Of course they remember."

Lily hadn't meant that sort of remembering. But before she could try asking another way, the announcement came through the speaker: "Citizens must come to the hall for an unscheduled ceremony."

In the Auditorium this time they could sit in family units. Lily, aware of being nearly a Nine, kept her hands in her pockets so as not to reach for her parents. Instead of looking at them, she watched the stage.

The Receiver was there. Lily watched him, wondering if he was as stern with Jonas as he looked. He looked even more stern as the Chief Elder announced her regret that a member of the community had been Lost...

That Jonas had been Lost.

There was a slight stirring in the audience, but no one actually turned to look at Lily and her parents. Losing someone from the family unit was an uncomfortable difference.

"Jonas, Jonas, Jonas..." The name was spoken by all of them, more and more quietly, in the Ceremony of Loss.

 

The scheduled Ceremony when she at last became a Nine was no longer exciting for Lily. The night after it, Lily whispered to herself. "I wanted Gabriel to get his family. I want Jonas to be home." She felt more sad than she ever had before.

 

The Nines had more freedom in their recreation time now and were allowed to ride their new bicycles.

This day two Recreation Directors were watching them. One, Lily recognised, was Asher.

He and Jonas had been friends. Did Asher miss him?

Of course she could not ask.

 

Lily found out that making up stories helped, a little, with feeling left behind.

"Then they gave the family a newchild, a male, and his name—" Lily finished in a rush.

"Lily, the community only replaces a child who was lost. You know that. Jonas wasn't a child anymore."

In their home, the three of them who were left still used his name.

 

She hadn't had her comfort object for a whole year. She and the other new Eights had handed them in during their part of the Ceremony.

But when she moved her fingers now, tucked in bed and waiting for another dream, she could almost feel elephant.

If she'd still been a Seven, she would have told the secret stories to her comfort object.

If she was still an Eight, Jonas would still be home with them. So would Gabriel.

They might have all five been a family, warm like the togetherness in memories she now carried.


End file.
